Thursday, September 8, 2016

My Tickle Toy...


**and this was supposed to be "the year to be happy" .... it started off on the right foot... but now i’ve kinda lost my way again... i’ve rejected and declined quite a number of guys for meet ups (and hook ups) for that matter... and only went on one date this year .. which was the most perfect disaster that my little fragile heart could take which made me kinda swear off dating for now... until who knows when...**

that was an excerpt from a past post "MY TRUNK BRIEFS" ... and i've kinda brushed off the notion and any possibility of another sexcapade with a guy who could have ticked off one of my very elusive bucket list of finally having my very first tickle torture session...

guys like him don't just pop up like normal grade pokemonsters or whatever those crazy kid terms they use... beautiful, ticklish guys around my age who actually plead and beg to be tickled are as elusive and rare as they get... but i am still having a hard time coming to terms with my passive decision to not even contemplate meeting up with him...

i mean.. i can use the phrase "once bitten ... twice shy..." for this moment because ... yeah... after that whole "SIN: THE UNTOLD STORY" experience... i don't ever wanna put myself through that ever again... 

but i cant help but wonder... am i losing out on an opportunity of a lifetime? ... am i letting this one chance... which could be my one and ONLY chance of fulfilling a deep dark fantasy once and for all?...

.... yeah... maybe... but you know what?.... 

i want more than just a weekend holiday sexcapade... it's just not worth it... it's like playing poker... when i think i might have gotten a royal flush (i think that's the term used.. lol).. but somehow ... the joker card always seem to pop up and screw me right into my queen of broken hearts...

i'm playing it safe... because i don't want to be sorry...

sorry for myself... if i went through with this sexcapade and came back realizing that i can actually use a new phrase..."shame on you if u fool me once... shame on me if you fool me twice"..

i don't want to be that stupid boy that gets all excited for a perfect stranger i just met online and then dreaming my life away thinking that this guy could finally be the one... only to know that i was just someone who was the extra "fun" to put into his holiday agenda...

my love life has never been kind to me... and im proud to say that i'm wise enough to know that  good things don't really happen for a boy like me...

:-/


2 comments:

fantus said...

It will happen for you. I know, I know...when???

Everyone get a time of real happiness...just grab it when you see it!!

:)

N!LoC said...

:-)

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