Sunday, January 31, 2016

Last One Standing...



the time has come....and it’s basically official...

you see i always knew i was never gonna get married... because i knew i was gay... and i knew i would never marry a girl... so way back in high school... i made a bet with my group of friends... that if i got married first... i would buy each and every one of them a brand new house...

and if i were to get married at all... i would buy each and every one of them a brand new car...

yes... i was that sure of myself... that is why i dared to place that silly bet with them...

(back then same sex marriage was absolutely completely  totally unheard of... my god i never thought i’d live to see the day that same sex marriage would be finally legal in some countries... we really have come a long way...)

so as the years went by... one by one... all the girls eventually met their boyfriends and husbands and rebounds that turned out to be prince charmings (with lots & lots of  $$$)... they all got married... the guys all got hitched  too... with kids ... loving wives and the whole enchilada... 

as far as i know... basically everyone in my graduating class of 2### are all married... even the 2 guys that turned out to be gay... both have lovely hubbies of their own... i mean... for us gays that live in this part of the world where we can’t get legally married ... being in a long term committed relationship with a guy is as good as it gets! hence... their “hubbies” !

and here i am... at the tender age of ## still never had a real life boyfriend.... and “technically” still a virgin... sad as it sounds... it really is sad as it seems!..... really !

but i did tell myself that 2016 will be the year of “happy”... and i am not gonna dwell on how single and alone i am... because “if it happens it happens”... and that’s all i have to get by these days... and that affirmation really helps me tremendously... 

** so as one of my (mean girls) friend just texted me out of the blue to invite me to her fabulous wedding in 2017... she just made it clear that i have officially become...
the last one standing...

:-( 

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Longing To Love Again...




hey sunshine... have you seen the way I'm smiling lately ? 

hey blue skies... see me walking down the lane ?

Oh green grass … like the way you calm my mind (oh baby)

hmmmm … been feeling like i'm longing to love again...



Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Snap 2.0...




i was waiting in line to redeem my "purchase with purchase" promotional price deal... when i saw this hunk pass by...

i whipped out my phone... turned and snapped...

and nobody even noticed...

(or at least i think no one noticed... lol)


Sunday, January 17, 2016

Marry A Girl...



Lately ... i have been kicking myself in the head  as to how extremely needy i  can really be... cuz when i like guy... and get those initial butterfly feelings... i can easily fall for him....real fast...( of course not before weighing out all the pros and cons and getting the green light after he passes my pre requisite test)

i guess i have always been the type to just immidiately day dream about all the possibilities for the future as my life with him flashes before my very eyes...

which brings me to a very poignant childhood memory...

when i was in grade school... i think it was grade 3... i made friends with this girl... and we clicked instantly... she was so friendly.. talkative... laid back ... basically the coolest girl ever... (well to me at least)...

after that initial meeting... i went back home and asked my mom...

“ mommy ? .... when i grow up ... can i marry a muslim girl?”.... (yes my girl crush was muslim)

(omg... as i type this out right now.. i am giggling by myself because how ironic is that... because whenever i think muslim... i think Donald trump... and all the crazy idiotic things he is saying trying to be the next president of the united states)

anyways... my mom was not having any of it... she kept quiet ... ignored me... and then finally brushed it off saying something like i was too young to be thinking about marriage and girlfriends... 

but really she has always been a mother who was extremely strict when it came to girls and stuff... she would always say... “your studies are the most important thing in life”...  and in ways... she seemed like she was pushing the message of “girls are bad... girls are "NOT GOOD”...(oh what a great blog post that was lol)

so that was that... at a very young age... before i really knew i was gay... i was day dreaming of marrying a girl after just knowing her for one day... yet now... i basically am still doing the same thing... except ... it’s with guys...


** just so you know... my childhood girl friend grew up into a butchy lesbian...  funny how life turns out... hihi

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