Saturday, May 30, 2015

Looking For Love...




it's really scary how sometimes my life is imitating art imitating life...

when i wrote a past blog post tittled "SIN In The City"... it was about the time "sex and the city" the series was playing a complete re-run on tv again... and that was what inspired me to write about :

a feeling... 

an experience... 

a memory... 

i had with a man...

and ironically as the series finale came to a close ... moments of impaling resemblance... echoes the morale of the story of what sex and the city was all about... 

it mirrors through my life...

and at this point in time... more than ever... 

just as it's always been ...

i really am...

just looking for love...

  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

I Want A Man...



i want a man... to call my own...
a good warm feeling... when nights feel cold...
to kiss his cheek ... to kiss his lips...
to hug so tight... a hand to hold...

i want a man... to call my own...
to have a drink... on a weekend night...
to talk about life... to talk about love...
just talk about anything... whatever feels right...

to go watch a movie... perhaps something funny...
or something more romantic... so i can get cuddly...
drive around town ... cruising through the night...
listen to Mariah... enjoy the city lights...

i want a man ... to call my own...
someone to have... someone to hold...
make life worth living... because it’s not worth living...

without a man in my life... and walk this journey alone...


~ by N!LoC ~


Saturday, May 9, 2015

Dissapeared...




staring at my phone... and lying here all alone...

looking at my contacts... wondering just what went wrong...

well you don’t reach for me...

when i thought you’d care for me...

and you... just left me here...


went ahead and disappeared...


~ by N!Loc ~


Monday, May 4, 2015

Snap 2.0...


looking at him makes me sad...

because .... i can look but i can't touch.... :-p



Friday, May 1, 2015

The Library...



(beep beep)  -  new message : “wanna meet up ?”

and since it was gonna be a long 4 day labour day weekend here... i just went ahead and replied :

“sure!”

i was feeling rather lonely anyways... and i just thought... what’s the worst that could happen? it was only for drinks...

it has been quite some time since i met up with a total stranger from a gay app... the first one of the year actually...  we were supposed to meet at 8pm at the mall but he came fabulously late at 9.15pm (lucky for him , there was a crazy sale at my fav clothing store with 50% OFF EVERYTHING! .... hmm that kept me occupied while waiting...)

and here come the bullet points :-

·         after a great first hello... and hand shake... did some small talk and he suggested to go to a bar down town...

·         i slightly freaked out inside because it has been ages since i last step foot in a bar... and god knows i clearly wasn’t dressed for the occasion...

·         luckily i suggested a restaurant - slash - bar called THE LIBRARY right across from the mall we were at and so we went...

·         wasn’t too thrilled about the place because there was a live band and this was so not the first date i had in mind ... i mean i could barely talk to him over the loud music...

·         i found myself stealing talk time with him after every song interval for about 1 min or so...there was minimal talking and just sitting down with loud music... yippie....

·         it just so happened that his ex classmates were there too and he kinda left me at the bar for a good 20 mins or so (and there is nothing worse than getting left alone at a bar than getting left alone at a STRAIGHT bar... (picture me beside an interracial straight couple sipping on wine while i was sitting there with my crocs on and baggy weekend jeans slurping on apple mango juice with a twirly yellow bendy straw ...

·         well.. he paid for the drinks... and that was the only consolation i got really... because he was cute.. he was way shorter than me... which i didn’t mind at all... because i was phisically attracted to him...  but he was “bi”... and his past 5 relationships were with girls... and you know i damm well won't ever compete with pussy...


which brings me to the moral of this story :-


Alone Again... Naturally ~ Vonda Shepard


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