Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Inspiration Lost...



My Window...



looking out my window today...
 the sky seems clear and blue...
then naturally this feeling comes over me...
and i start thinking of you...

i think of all the things we’d do together...
if you were with me now...
like touching and feeling your body...
as much as my heart would allow...

i close my eyes and imagine us...
cuddling, laying in bed...
my cheek to your cheek ...
and me, kissing your head...

strolling down the beach...
 barefoot in the sand...
feeling the summer breeze...
walking hand in hand...

i open my eyes then take a look around...
 and still see the sunny clear blue sky...
i then turn around away from my window...
and walk unknowingly with a smile...

~ by N!LoC ~
 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Snap 2.0...


he was speaking cantonese... so im guessing he must be a honky ! (hong kong)

or maybe from kuala lumpur... cuz chinese dudes speak cantonese there too..

:-)

oh... those shades are so sex.... se...eeee...

Monday, February 16, 2015

I Had A Dream...



it's all a blur...

but when i woke up from my lazy saturday afternoon nap...

i remember i dreamt that i was in the amazing race... and i had a challenge to do some cycling and the destination was a tower where i had to drag my "tricycle" ... (yes... i was using a bicycle but i magically was dragging up a TRI-cycle) up the tower...

and i had to make a dress out of some pieces of loose materials lying around... and i somehow made this fabulous dress in blue ( which highly resembled j.lo's infamous Grammy dress) and had to wear it....

then i took a look at a mirror...

then POOF!

i woke up...


Sunday, February 15, 2015

Monday, February 9, 2015

Babie...



there is something seriously wrong...

hell must have frozen over because just like how you know those crazy people who look at silly cat videos on youtube...i on the other hand have been looking at videos of fathers and their "babies"... or "kids" or "child" or whatever you call those little drooling "poop"ing monsters...

and i just realized that i have done it on more than one occasion.... (THREE TO BE EXACT !) ... in the span of just 2 weeks....

first of all ... if anyone knows the most obvious and apparent personality trait about me.. is that :-

i love Mariah...

i love ice cream...

i'm utterly scared of being in the sun...

and 

I     H A T E    K I D S  !!!!!

so what is up with finding myself looking at those daddies playing so adorably with their little monsters giggling and trying to make them say “dah dah”... and doing all that stupid baby talk language that just makes me get all light headed and wanting to cringe and shiver all the way to tim-buck-two ...

a silent realization and desperate “gasp” erupts from deep inside me...

a scary feeling that just maybe it is my biological clock that is changing me with the times... and as i reach a major milestone year in my life... i just can’t believe that while watching those youtube videos...

there was a small part of me that secretly wants to have that ....

a young or old ,shirtless or clothed, handsome or plain looking , beer belly or trim tummy hubby playing with a baby... any baby.... mine?... from a willing baby mama? .. (ok no that will never happen...brrrrrrrrrrr shake it off.... shake it off...)  

his??... (from a previous heterosexual marriage) or perhaps ...

ours???... (from a willing surrogate using my man's virile sperm)?

this scares me so much... that i feel the hairs on my arms tingle and sending  un-delightful chills down my front...

** and just so you know... as i was googling an image for this blog post... i typed in “daddy and babie”....... (i hate babies so much.....that i don’t even know how to spell the word BABY correctly !)


:-\

Snap 2.0...


now this guy has a story...

see that old fart standing beside him?

i am 99% sure that is his sugar daddy for the night.... (long story)... lol

see how skilled i am?... he didn't even notice me snapping him in broad daylight...

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Jumping Off...



the other day as i was driving ... i heard on the radio that a lady jumped off a building ... because she was so depressed that she couldn’t find the man of her dreams...

... she was only 27....

and i thought to myself... hmph... that’s a stupid reason to be jumping off a building and committing suicide...

but then again... i took a moment to remember in essence... that oh my god....

i actually had a moment of desperation like that too...

it was a long time ago... and i was probably depressed at the time... but never knew it...

but ... yeah... i guess she wasn’t stupid... she was just .... like me....

apparently i’ve been there too...


Friday, February 6, 2015

His...


it was just a snap... (or so i thought...)
yes...

it was just another one of my infamous "snaps 2.0"... that was supposed to be a little perverted tongue in cheek fun.... (sigh)... but just like one of my other "snaps" i did a long time ago... this unexplainable feeling just came washing over me...

he was just so beautiful... and my mind just doesn't do the normal thing of fantasizing about tapping that fine piece of cute minced meat pie... instead... i just wallow in the very hollow void of my day to day existence...

wouldn't it be nice if i was with him (and him in his sexy tanktop) having lunch at a cafe...oh it would absolutely mean the world to me... if that sort of thing ever did happen to me...(well errr... which it kinda already did)... just look at : "exhibit A"...

but then again... that was just a one night trick date that poofed up in a cloud of dust as fast as it even began...

but this unexplainable feeling that i got was almost painfull... and i was indeed distracted and hurting throughout the hour... it just got me thinking about lots of feelings and emotions ... or should i say... hopes and dreams for me to just have a lasting moment in this lifetime with a beautiful one to call my own...

his pits... his skin... his beauty... his tank... ... his...

(sigh)

:-(


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Snap 2.0...


so... at lunch.... i saw this hottie.... and his guuuurl friend..... (roll my eyes)...

i couldn't snap the usual way... but ... then opportunity presented itself...

as he was paying at the counter Behind me... i switched and used the FRONT CAMERA!!!

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