Saturday, May 24, 2014

Drift...



is there anybody out there?...
searching for a love like me?...

cuz i’ve been drifting and waiting...
out here on the open sea...

starving... for closeness...
hungering... for a day...
craving... for a dream...
when things will go my way...

desperate for a feeling...
just hoping endlessly...

guess i’ll just drift off...
drift for all eternity...


 ~ N!LoC ~

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Why Am I Still Single?...



in the past there were light bulb moments where i solemnly declared that i like myself.. and i love myself...

but ... have i fallen back into a hole?

a hole where all my insecurities come back to bite me in my j.lo ass? it would be just plain foolish to say that insecurities could be gone and vanished with just a snap of a finger... but i guess it just doesn’t work that way...

if i am such a cute little sweet thang.... with sparkling bubbles of personality and a heart so ready to give love... i ask myself constantly more now than ever....

why am i still single?

i have been single practically 4ever!!!

(although i did have one heck of a long distance online relationship that lasted a good 3 years or so... but never even got to meet him in person, let alone kiss or even touch ...so i would half heartedly brush that off as something that was just a pre learning relationship lesson in life)

i have never had a real life boyfriend!?

makes me really pull myself out of this crazy world and think... is there something wrong  with...

me.....?

am i not hot enough?

am i not sociable enough?

am i not lucky enough?

(i could go on and on and on about this again....) but i won’t...

so i honestly ask myself  “what is wrong with me?” cuz i certainly can’t keep on blaming it on the world...


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Snap...


well lookey here!!

2 birds with one SNAP #!

:-0

:-p

:-)

seriously couldn't stop snapping them

and a wide angle shot lol !

Friday, May 16, 2014

My Little Star...




My little star...
You just drift away...
I long to pull u close...
But you just won't stay...

Tears on my pillow...
As I lay in my bed...
The real reason for crying...
The tears that I shed...

My little star has gone...
But the moon is still here...
So just for tonight...
I shed my last tear...


~ by N!LoC ~

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Motivation...



i used to work out and go for a jog every other day...and i used to be so anal when it comes to fatty and oily foods...i even used to do squats in the shower every day !!!

but not anymore... the reason being ...because i had motivation...

and what motivated me was the thought of being able to look good for someone special of some sorts... perhaps the new guy i met online who was gonna be in my town in a few weeks or just plain upkeep and general maintenance because i was out in the wild again for the hunt for my new boyfriend...

i had something ...(or at least someone) to look forward to... and now that it seems i may have rummaged through the gay jungle... and probably did my last round of gay social networking/ hook up apps hoping to find a guy... or ANY GUY...

and after all was said and done... (Although i still haven’t “done” it yet) ... so... i see no purpose to keep my j.lo ass tight and perky anymore...

not even for myself...

:-(


Thursday, May 8, 2014

Snap...

:-)

:-)

i literally snapped this one in a matter of seconds from spotting him out of nowhere as he was suddenly comming my way...

i whipped my iphone out and snapped like there was no tommorrow while still being on invisible ninja mode... lol

i swear... sometimes "snapping" takes such skill and stealth like precision.... it really should be an international sport !

Monday, May 5, 2014

I Wrote This...



i closed my eyes for a second... and then i suddenly thought of you...
how u still came into my thoughts... even when i try so hard not to...

i refuse to live this way... as i know time is my only healer...
but it ain’t easy because i know... i’ve always been a dreamer...

i wish to hate you... for at times... i think i really do...
i want to hate you forever... so my heart can find the cue...

to begin to forget you... with the bond that was long gone...
before i even knew it...  i wrote this ... just to to move on...


~ by Niloc ~

Sunday, May 4, 2014

One Night At McDonald's Part 2...




For obvious reasons... I decided to sit at a strategically straight forward line of sight of skinny dad's huge armholes ...

And with every bite of my big mac...i just stared blatantly into his side rib cleavage... and glanced at his 2 little kids and his wife....(and automatically put myself in her shoes) thinking out silently... “oh... what it would feel like to have skinny dad in that muscle tee for desert later tonight once we get home”... 

(and then i suddenly was in the mood for an oreo mc flurry)... hmmmm

so then i looked the other way out the glass windows  to see cute "perfect complexion” guy with his group of friends... (girls included)...and anyone of them could have very well been one of his girlfriends... and i thought to myself...

“hmmm... wouldn’t it be nice to have a night out with such a cute guy like him as my boyfriend and just “chill” and “hang” as the night is still young...

yet look at me?.... i’m at mc donald’s with my parents... and if i wasn’t out with my parents....it would be with my group of friends... "ME"... "MYSELF" .... & ... "I"......  (yes... three's a crowd :-p)

i guess this is maybe the reason why i am just naturally so anti social... because it seems that anywhere i go... i always seem to knock myself out silly with crazy inflections of things to remind me just how extremely single i am...

so i guess that’s why i recently decided to buy myself a boyfriend of my own... and he keeps me company whenever i feel bored and lonely... and his name just so happens to be ......



:-)  

Thursday, May 1, 2014

One Night At McDonald's Part 1...



as i was standing in line to order my big mac value meal... i couldn’t help but stare at this "skinny dad" closely across the other line in his white muscle tee that looked enormously loose on his beautiful skinny frame... 

(side view underarms and ribs included)   :-P

i swore... the only thing that was stopping me from whipping out my iphone to snap snap snap was the group of people behind me... and no matter how much ninja training i have had in the art of “snapping”.. there was just no way i was gonna go un noticed if i did snap skinny dad in all his muscle tee glory...

now this brings me to my next point...

the group of people behind me were indeed a group of guys.....

"CUTE"..... guys....

and one guy in particular in a black & yellow nike T50 dry-fit tee shirt (yes i remember the most minute details)...caught my attention... he was really cute and i couldn’t help but stare at his nice close to perfect baby bum like complexion... with not a single stubble under his chin (and yes....i was staring at all all his minute details again as i usually do...lol)


and so as i was enjoying my mc value meal... my mind just wandered off into my own little world...



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