Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Be Gone...



once we were lovers...
now we are dead...
a bond before so strong...
now hangs by a thread...

everything i say...
and everything i do...
is pushing me away...
when i try to get to you...

but thanks for being cruel...
i needed to feel this pain...
something you’ve caused me so...
now i have everything to gain...

you've drawn the final straw...
i'll try to just move on...
memories of you will fade...
and all traces of love ... 

be gone...


~ by N!LoC ~

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Mr. Carwash...



as i was doing my usual sunset walk around my neighbourhood... (only this time i brought along my 3 month old golden retriever puppy) on a leash for the walk with me...  i noticed something that was way beyond the corner of my eye...

a guy who seemed to be washing his car... and what really ticked off my raydar was him being completely SHIRTLESS!!!!!!!  and to add insult to horny injury... he paired his hot “shirtless” look with casual black shorts... BLACK... oh dear god... what a lethal combination... skin and black shorts... (* dramatic maiden faint)

and so i just kept my cool and walked my little cute j.lo butt on over there... nonchalantly minding my own business... obviously stealing criminalistic perverted looks in such stealth like precision his way...

his manly broad square shoulders... so broad i think of superman... his slim and fit and almost tight upper body with just a sliver of a sign of a six pack...  his honey maple syrupy skin just barely glistening in sweat ... catching the natural sheen of the setting sun light... oh and his oh so handsome youthful handsome handsome handsome face....and i even got a few glimpses of his demurely hairy pits while he was in “public armpit exposure” positions...  (awh man his pits were hot...and not to mention his skinny chicken bird legs)... hihi

this was pure perfection to me... and i say that loosely because perfection about a man’s body can be a turn off for me... that’s  why i never get high when looking at perfectly chiselled muscled men at the gym... (not that i ever used a gym in my entire life)...

then... as i was getting into close proximity of mr. carwash himself... he stopped what he was doing and noticed my cute and adorable golden retriever puppy that was by my side... and as he turned off his water hoe and slowly started making his way towards me with a big ole friendly smile on his Handsome handsome face... my heart literally felt like it was gonna melt into chocolate pudding

he said... “wow ... such a cute puppy! what breed is it?”....  as he started fondling on my puppy so coddlingly wishing it was ME he was coddling his hands on... and he knelt down on one knee... as i stole more perverted glances at his sexy tart nipples... and his beads of sweat trickling down his chest...

*** reality check ***

(well in a perfect world that is what would have happened to me... but in reality... mr. carwash didn’t even take one look at me or even my puppy... it was like we were some sort of invisible wraiths just passing not once... not twice.. but FOUR times... yep.. i made my way down his driveway FOUR FR!KIN TIMES!!!)

sigh... 

mr. carwash... why you gotta wash yo car without yo shirt on?

:-(


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Snap...




this one just came walking up my direction... so without missing a beat... i whipped out my trusty iphone and snap snap!

too bad i only could get one snap... i would have stalked him all the way but i was in a hurry

:-)


Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Simple Things...




you don’t have to take me on a whirlwind trip to rome...
you don’t even have to buy me the latest gold iPhone...
don’t need to promise me the moon and stars above...
just promise to be there for me is well more than enough...

you don’t have to be a perfect “10” with abs and a hot body...
just wear a tank top with a smile to come and rescue me...
you  don’t have to comment on every single post i write...
just know that it means the world to me when i see a “like

“its just the simple things that matter most to me”

~ by N!LoC ~

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Someway Somehow...



as valentine’s day approaches in just a couple more weeks or so... i feel like love is this familiar feeling that eludes me once again to my past...

the year has gotten off to a fairly good start with lots of pieces of my personal life going in different directions... as i sit down at 2.39am in middle of this night by my trusty netbook... i am washed away with desires and dreams... that i once hoped for as a little little child...

i rarely write what goes on in my life in a direct (diary entry) like this one... but i just feel like i have to let my feelings out and just ...“write”....

if there is such a thing called fate... and everything happens for a reason...  everything has its time and place... to whatever will be will be...

i just have to believe that i am going to make it through someway somehow ... with a heart so ready to love someone who appreciates and welcomes it with open arms... 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Letter No. 9...



it hurts to see how you talk about him...

how you never talk about me that way...

such kind phrases you use...

and all the lovely things that you say...

i have been left behind by your silence...

nothingness towards me you portray...

i promise you will lose me forever...

because you have pushed me too far away...


~ N!LoC ~

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Too Lost In You...



this music video is what my dreams are made off.....

i rememeber so vividly how i enjoyed all the countless wanking sessions i had to this ... just a brief scene of that hot guy spead eagled on the bed with hairy pits darker than all of the twilight movies combined... ooooo

(sigh)..... i can safely say... that this is probably the hottest guy i have ever laid my eyes on !!



Sugar Babes ~ Too Lost In You...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

My Little Black Book : Dangerous Part 2...



continued from PART 1...

“hey why are you not talking to me?... i’m so bored here... “
“i see you have a new boy with you tonight?...  quite cute too !”

from the moment i saw that message... i don’t know what got into me.. maybe i had one too many sips of my girly cocktail but i snatched the phone from FATTY’S FAT hands and messaged gorgeous back saying...

“hi ! i’m N!loc ! nice to meet you!... why the hell are u chatting over the phone when he is right here just a few seats away from you ?” 
“is this what technology has made us into?? chatting over phone rather than face to face??” 
“oh ...and by the way... i think you’re pretty cute too”.. (insert smiley face)

and we ended up exchanging phone numbers that night... and it was all recorded on FATTY’S iphone message chat log ! lol

by the end of the night... FATTY was nice enough to pay for the drinks although i did offer to pay too but he insisted on it... and on the ride home... at a traffic light intersection... FATTY just blurted out... 

“do you want to come back to my home and sleep over ?”

he used the term “sleep over” very loosely... and even as naive as i was... i still knew what that meant... and i politely declined... and what happened next was one of the most dangerous situations i have ever gotten myself into since starting this whole "i should put myself more OUT there (phase)" and taking chances on guys i barely knew..

his tone of voice changed...  as he tried to persuade me to spend the night with him... but i kept declining as nicely as i could... until he raised his voice and pulled out the “BUT I PAID FOR DRINKS TONIGHT!!!!??(card) ”... then there was a short but scary awkward silence between us.. and what was going through my head was 

(gosh... so a guy pays for drinks and then automatically expects me to pay him back by spending the night with him???... classic ... just classic...)

then he said...”SO??? WHATS IT GONNA BE???”... (and i declined for the last time)

i somehow managed to get home in one piece thinking he would just kick me out of his car but thankfully he didn’t... i will always remember how i got myself in that almost dangerous situation that could have escalated into something bigger than it was... (thank god he was only half drunk)...

and just so you know... FATTY’S ex boyfriend was also “PLAYER’S” ex boyfriend a.k.a” HUBBY”... click "HERE" to see the bigger picture...


(seriously... it’s like 6 degrees of gay separation !)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

My Little Black Book : Dangerous Part 1...


"...every now and then... i find myself doing a little soul searching about why is it just so hard for me to find a decent guy to call my own... and in this particular episode of my life... i looked back on my experiences with guys that just make me wonder... where are all the good guys...?"
FATTY ~

this guy was oh so memorable... he was the one who aggressively pursued me because i was so much his "type"... he said he noticed that i was a newbie on this gay social app and just wanted to get to know me...  one thing led to another...  and then i met up with him like the very next day...  he brought me to have a late night supper at mc donald’s and he helped me finish my chicken nuggets...(i guess u can understand why i code named him FATTY ? :-P) 

he insisted that i should one day accompany him to his usual hang out place  which was a nice cozy gay bar... i never even knew there were actual gay bars in my town!?... so i agreed to go with him... he fetched me after he finished work and took me back to his place first... he took a shower and totally got dressed (and undressed ) in front of me!!! ....

i was like  (oooo this is nice?!... but pls keep in mind that he is a FATTY ! :-P )... so "man boobs" and a "third trimester laughing Buddha pregnant belly" was definitely not gonna get me hard at any point... but it was really nice to experience a guy stripping  in front of you so nonchalantly ... hmmm made me think about if i had a boyfriend ... i’m sure this would be a regular free peep show for me... (sigh)...

anyways we got to the bar and the place was filled with hotties and cuties... but only one thing... NOBODY talked to me all night long except the bartender... AND HE WAS STRAIGHT!...  apparently there was this unwritten rule with FATTY ... he was some sort of possessive big shot "socialgay" extraordinaire who knew all the gays in town and has a ga zillion friends on facebook... and he did warn me that NOBODY would dare talk to me unless he introduced them to me...

so i just sat there by the bar trying to have a good time while FATTY went around socializing with all his friends... so i sipped and sipped on my pink coloured girly alcoholic cocktail and got myself feeling a lil' tipsy...

then all of a sudden...this super gorgeous tall skinny guy with defined cheekbones and sweeping justin bieber hair came strolling in... and surprise? surprise? ... he was also one of FATTY’S friends...  (and this was the turning point of the night)... i noticed that FATTY was messaging  gorgeous on his phone and i looked over and saw what gorgeous sent FATTY... and it read...

continued to PART 2...

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