Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It Ain't Easy...



i know im the kind to always put up a fight
but it just happens to be new year’s eve’s night
tryin to do the “out of mind” ~ “out of sight”
but...
nothing seems right... how did i get here?

so i made my way to a grocery store...
the hagen dazz was really hard to ignore...
haven’t tried all these flavours before...
so...
 guess i’ll let go...  and eat my heart silly...

i just saw a guy...
who looked nothing at all like you...
and i imagined that he was...
but that’s just my point of view...

it’ ain’t easy...
when my heart aches...

i almost wrote a letter...
to tell you how i feel...
but i just think it’s better...
to let this love... end right here...

so...

i will post this now...
and man it’s starting to rain...
trying hard not to allow...
my heart to cause me more pain...

it ain’t easy....
IT AIN’T EASY...
when my heart breaks...


~ by N!LoC ~


Friday, December 27, 2013

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Deeper Than That...



I take one look at a shirtless guy and my insides come rushing full speed ahead…a wave of mixed emotions, fantasies all crashing down on me …

I think to myself… 

"am I just longing for something I have been deprived from for far too long?"

"...or am I just plain horny?"

I have never been a stranger to this feeling as I get this way by the most simplest of things like…let’s say… for instance, seeing a particular guy that makes my brain “chemically react” at the grocery store…

back in the day… when I would see a hawt guy at a grocery store…i would get that “feeling”… and then start putting loads of junk food in my shopping cart... but now when i see a hawt guy at the grocery store... I just stare at him just a little too long til I can’t stare no more... then just brush the"feeling" off withstanding the urge to grab a chocolate bar and shoving it down my pie hole :-)

maybe it’s my biological clock that has finally rang it’s alarm letting me know i'm finally ready for some physical association…

or…..Maybe I just need to get laid ???... but I honestly feel it goes much more deeper than that...

(no pun intended)


 :-P 


** as of date of this post published... i already experienced "some" physical association...  :-)


Thursday, December 19, 2013

Just Friends...



isn’t it funny?

how after all is said and done…

i still thrive to be together...

but you don’t want us 2 become 1...

it hurts when u basically say… 

“baby we are just friends”…

so I’ll put a stop to this now…

and that’s where my love for you ends…


~ by N!LoC ~

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Snap...


awww... i'd like to be the one holding his hand... but...

i guess i'll just have to imagine it....for now...

(sigh)

Thursday, December 12, 2013

You And I...




The distance that's between us…
 Is now the distance within my heart…

And the silence has become so apparent…
It has completely torn me apart...

So disappointed from pure neglect…
I now admit that I've been correct…

We were never really “You and I”
I should have known right from the start…


~ by N!LoC ~


Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Big "O" Part 2...



continued from The Big "O" Part 1...

*keep in mind that i was massaging my dinky winky with my undies and shorts still on... so my erection was all under the circus tent

but this time... i just let the feeling linger... because obviously i was feeling soo damn high with my rock hard erection .. i just didn’t really care if i started to pee (which i thought was gonna happen)....

but little did i know... i felt this Vesuvius eruption of something rushing up my shaft... (again... which i thought was pee on its way)... but BOOM sha KAA laa KAH! i felt a throbbing of some sort in my pants... and quickly rushed to the bathroom to “pee”

but once i pulled down my shorts... and undies to “pee”... it revealed this massive glop of whitish goo which TOTALLY FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!! i thought i just injured myself or something!!!! i literally thought i was some sort of freaky alien that had some freaky mishap of bodily harm while “peeing”

i hyperventilated in the bathroom to the point of silent hysteria... my heart was pounding and my hands were shaking tremendously... i honestly just didn’t have a clue what was happening !!!!

now after that... everything is a blur as i can’t really remember the details of that horrifying and traumatic experience... but let’s just say... after i cleaned myself up... and then FINALLY had an actual PEE! ... i went back to my room and regrouped my thoughts... and slowly realized... that what just happened was something that my stupid horny male classmates were joking and making fun of all this while... and i finally understood what just happened...

what i did was apparently “masturbating”... and the white goo that just came shooting out of me was apparently “cum”... eureka!!!!!


so that’s how the story goes for my very first time masturbating and how i experienced my very first big “O”...

:-)

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Big "O" Part 1...


i had my very first orgasm watching oprah winfrey...

as bizarre as it sounds for a little gay boi like myself... it’s not exactly what you may be thinking (blush blush)

see... i do believe it was when i was in high school when oprah still had her day time talk show... it used to be a daily constitutional for me to come home from school and watch the 1pm repeat of her show... but on this one crazy day that i get to live to blog about as embarrassing as it may seem... also involves a vibrating back & neck massager...  

now this “massager” was something that my parents used from time to time... but i never thought of putting 2 and 2 together and mind you (at that particular time... i still didn’t know the meaning of “masturbate”)... yeah... me ... a high school kid still unaware of wanking off?... boy oh boy was one hell of a late bloomer...  

i don’t know what got into me... but as i was watching oprah i just turned on the massager thingy and slid it up and down on my dinky winky and started to get an erection... and i thought to myself ...

“whoa this feels kinda awesome!”.... 

and so i just let it vibrate on low for a brief moment or so until i got semi hard and suddenly felt like i was going to pee...

(i thought hmmm? this is weird? why do i feel like peeing all of a sudden?) and so i went to the loo... and tried to pee... but nothing...

and so i made my way to my room ... laid on my bed and continued “massaging” my goods  thinking  “gosh ! why didn’t i think of this sooner??? this feels so frickin good!!!!”.... and as the moment went by... my hard on was getting harder and harder and harder but through it all  i was still wondering...


“why the hell do i feel like peeing again???” 

continued to The Big "O" Part 2...

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Tell Me How You Feel...




what year was this? gee... i dunno...  (i don't want to back date myself) lol!

but i do remember very strongly as a young pre teen... this music video was what started my infamous infatuation with tanktops...

i had dreams about being her in a music video....being all pretty ,wearing a tube top and dancing flirtatiously with a hot sweaty skater guy fresh off the half pipes.. oooooo

well here it is... a classic vintage pop video that literally helped shaped my tank top desires....

Joy Enriquez ~ Tell Me How You Feel (Music Video)

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