Sunday, October 13, 2013

My Little Black Book: Comming Out...




"...every now and then... i find myself doing a little soul searching about why is it just so hard for me to find a decent guy to call my own... and in this particular episode of my life... i looked back on my experiences with guys that just make me wonder... where are all the good guys...?"

PLAYER  ~

this "christmas tale" explains it all and it included 3 boys that welcomed me during my coming out experience ... it was a cringing feeling to question... if this was really how the gay dating scene is like ? and i was thinking that it was all a fluke and hoping that there were better guys out there..  (boy was i wrong...)


GRINDR BOY ~

yes... he was one of the first guys i decided to meet up with after finding him on grindr... he seemed so interested in me and he was practically begging and pushing for us to meet up and so i caved in and eventually did... but when we did meet up for drinks ... he just took one look at me and i saw how his facial expression drastically changed... (let’s just say his face didn’t exactly light up)...

his body language was like all “i’m ready to leave”... and so he just fumbled on his iphone as i tried my best to be polite and make conversation as he just sat there not making much eye contact and texting non stop...in the end he just yawned... and said he was feeling sleepy... he told me he had to run and catch a movie with some of his friends... (like did that really just happen to me????)

that night... when i got home... i was pissed and angry about what just happend and was just feeling-out-loud... and “maybe i” was what i came up with...


CRAZY PSYCHO ~

after my episode with grindr boy... i decided to try my hand at a less sleazy gay social app and found this guy who again wanted to meet up almost instantly and me trying not to be so “once bitten twice shy” i just went ahead and put myself out there again...

we met up for dinner at my favourite stake house and he started it off with a huge childish lie... saying he was there waiting for me when he was actually not... and then i kinda freaked out because i had this feeling in my gut that i was being pranked... and warned him to stop playing this stupid game... and when he came in... he had this totally pissed off bitchy face...  and i then suddenly realized that he wasn’t the guy on his profile pic... he looked really really different!!!! ...

and it just only went downhill from there... he was like a totally different person than in his chats... he was like super bitchy to me ! yet ... after dinner he invited me to go home with him and “hang out” in his room... but i politely declined and said no... and he had some choice words for me later that night when he messaged me once he reached home... (i think he said something like i was useless and pathetic or something... oh well)

he was such a pathological liar....he lied about almost everything...! i noticed that he used a samsung phone but asked if he has an iphone because he apparently used an iphone to snap his “selfie” profile pic which was obviously NOT him... and he kept changing his tune when he said he was straight...

(errr? if u r straight.. then what are you doing on a gay social app?)

 his answers were like changing tunes of a 4 season orchestrated symphony ranging from ... 

“i’m experimenting and looking for a mutual masturbation buddy”...
to... “ok... i think i'm bi”...
to ...“i'm straight and eventually want to get married and have a family”...
to ... “i want to try and be gay with you”...

i think he must have changed his sexual orientation about 5 times in the course of 2 days...gosh.... i’m getting a headache just typing about this... there’s a whole lotta crazy out there i tell ya’!

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