"i can make it through the rain"... "i can stand up once again"...
do u have a special song that has always
helped you through the hard times in life?... a song that you listen over and
over again repeatedly in times of despair and sadness or just plain old
bleakness?
well
for me... there is one song that never fails to inspire me to pick myself up
from the ground, lift my head up high, give life a big huge smile and try to
live the day with a breath of fresh air again...
and that song is called “through
the rain”...
by non other than my American idol... MARIAH
this particular song is the artful work of
life experience after mariah’s now infamous ice cream and rainbows VERY public
“breakdown” ... and i remember this
being a very potent soundtrack to my own numerous (rock bottom breakdown)
moments in life because every single word from that song... has such assertion
that whole vocal acrobatic gear-change from 2nd to 5th
at the (end of the bridge) sends glorious positivity down my spine... every single
phrase mariah sings just emotes pure medicinal magic for me...
the only thing missing was a butterfly
suddenly fluttering about and landing on my index finger circa “butterfly” 1997
lol ;-p
as i wrap up writing this blog post...
after yet another low “moment”... feeling distraught and wondering if life will
ever be kind to me in the most simplest of ways... i listen to the song that
helps me make it.... “through the rain”...
it was back in the day when I was probably in 4th grade....
I was looking forward to graduating and beginning grade 5 and I remember clearly every kid in my class was so excited because this was the year where we finally get to use PENS and not pencils anymore...
gosh it was such a big deal to us...
made us feel like we were finally old enough to use ink... lol...
**I don’t know why I suddenly remembered this particular moment in time but I got this flashback... from just looking at a box of pens...
i once filled every inch of wall space in my room with posters
of the spice girls... sporty... baby... scary... ginger and POSH... in all
their glory of their hey days...
when i was getting into the groove as a teeny bopper...i put
up pictures of my high school friends... thinking that they were what defined
me in the brutal pecking order hierarchy of “cool” ness...
and after the spiceworld mania in my head subsided... i
replaced them with posters of video game characters and fantasy heroes...
yeah... i guess i was a role playing game (RPG) junkie for a good number of
years...
then during my college years i had the nerve to put up sensual homoerotic photo spreads i cut
out from fashion magazines...(just to help me get through my intensely horny dog
days)...giggle giggle (my personal record was 7x's in one day) HA HA HA!
and the last poster i ever put up on a wall was of Mariah during
her “emancipation” comeback year... it was when i cemented my adoration for
her... and made me an eternal fan for life !
so through the years... pictures have come and gone...
posters were ripped down and thrown away... and as of now... i don’t have any
pictures or posters in my room anymore... but i do hope that one day i can put a picture on my bed side table...
perhaps a picture to look at every night before i go to
sleep... and again to glance at every morning when i wake up...
a picture that can frame my life... and
maybe a life...that can be framed...in that picture...
i was waiting in line at the check-out counter... and look what was standing in front of me???
a guy in a TANK TOP!!!! (yes.. i use the word.."what" and not "who") because to me... when a guy wears a tank top...i automatically dehumanize him and he becomes just a piece of meat...
(and okay....i wasn't actually waiting in line to pay for anything ... i just spotted him and followed behind and "pretended" to que up behind him at the check-out counter)
how... ironic...(giggle giggle).... i'm checking a guy out... at the "check-out" counter lol
:-P
so i pulled out my trustee iphone and snap# snap# baby!!!!! (sang like vanilla ICE)
i had this dream where i was running through an open prairie
with vastly clean green grass all around and huge bundles of haystacks scattered
across...
there were these lamby-mini sheep-lassie looking prairie dogs
with thick burly cotton like fur coming my way... (just a couple of them)
and i was trying to out run them... but they all came (galloping) closer to me... and when they did get close enough... i just took my
baseball bat and gently "pushed" them away...
(yes i had a baseball bat in my hands)
it was almost as if they were happy to be near me but i felt
that they were trying to eat me or something... so i kept pushing them away one by one with
my big ole bat...
